Interview With a Girl Guide
Jack and Eugene need your help to track down the elusive girl guides, but just who will end up rescuing whom? Cast *Jack Holden *Eugene Woods *Sam Yao *Charlotte *Posey *Jordan Plot Do The Introductions You're heading out with Jack and Eugene. They need you to introduce them to the Girl Guides, and hopefully secure a radio interview. No One Likes To Step On Lego You're carrying a copy of Runner 10’s message for his daughter, who was on a scouting trip when the outbreak began. The girl guides might know something. In Trouble Again Eugene spots a campfire pit, so you must be on the right track. Sam gets Jack to check whether the ashes are still warm, and you're in luck! Stay Safe A horde is on your trail, but Posey hacks the transmission, instructing you to steer them to the north-northwest. Let 'er Rip The zombies are lured in by your decoy and the Girl Guides prepare to attack. Roger That The Girl Guides’ blast take out the zoms on your tail. Jack and Eugene grasp this opportunity to ask them for a chat. Rendezvous Jordan believes you owe them Girl Guides a favour, since they've saved your skin twice now. Transcript EUGENE WOODS: Okay, we’ve got the tape recorder, notebook, pens. All we need are some spare batteries. JACK HOLDEN: Got us triple and double A’s from Janine. We’re all set. Gene, why did you want to do this by the front gate? Why isn’t there anyone here except Runner Five? Oh no. No! Not this again! Please tell me we are not going to do another outside interview. EUGENE WOODS: We’re journalists. We’re supposed to go where the story is! JACK HOLDEN: Not to mention where the zombies are! It can’t be crazy survivalist o'clock again already. We just did one of them pieces last week! EUGENE WOODS: I’d hardly call that guy crazy! A little unorthodox, yeah, but - JACK HOLDEN: He skinned a pack of zombies and made himself a kilt out of their pelts. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen films where that kind of thing happens, and they usually end badly. SAM YAO: Uh, um, is everybody ready? If everyone’s ready, we should maybe get going? EUGENE WOODS: This won’t be like that. And look, Runner Five’s, uh, volunteered to carry all our gear today. I know how much you hate carrying everything. JACK HOLDEN: Do you remember the last time you said nothing was going to happen during one of these interviews? EUGENE WOODS: Okay, in retrospect, that was a little unfortunate. JACK HOLDEN: It took me two days to get all those porcupine quills out. Look, I can’t even wear those trousers anymore, you know. SAM YAO: Is it okay, now? If I go ahead and tell Runner Five what you’re up to today? JACK HOLDEN: Go on. You can fill me in while you’re at it. SAM YAO: sighs Great. Five, Jack and Eugene here want you to escort them out into the field today. EUGENE WOODS: We heard about your run-in with the Killer Girl Guides, and we want to interview them for the station. We’re hoping once Sam tracks them down, you can do the introductions, maybe put in a good word for Jack and me. JACK HOLDEN: And in the meantime, you can be on the lookout for any sink pits, booby traps, exotic animals trained to maim, or whatever it is Killer Girl Guides use for weapons when they’ve gone full on Rambo. EUGENE WOODS: Sam, can you raise the gates? SAM YAO: Thought you’d never ask. siren, gates raising JACK HOLDEN: Any sign of trouble? SAM YAO: Mm… you’re all clear. Cleverly, I suggested you do this just as New Canton has half a dozen runners doing decoy drills to the north. They’re pulling all the zoms their way, almost none left where you are. EUGENE WOODS: See? We’re off to a great start. JACK HOLDEN: I don’t think I’m speaking to you at the moment. EUGENE WOODS: You know, I thought you’d be glad to get out for a while. Stretch your legs, see the horizon without cement walls and barbed wire in the way. … Oh, don’t be such a mar- JACK HOLDEN: A what? EUGENE WOODS: Nothing. JACK HOLDEN: It started with an M, hmm? What could that be? Marvelously intelligent and understandably concerned partner? SAM YAO: mutters Oh God, not again. JACK HOLDEN: You were going to say martyr, weren’t you? EUGENE WOODS: You can’t still be mad about that. JACK HOLDEN: Of course I’m mad! continues SAM YAO: Five, while they’re busy, I’m going to have you do a sweep of the area. Run on ahead, and we’ll loop you back towards them every so often to check in. I didn’t get a chance to mention it earlier, but those twenty pounds of recording equipment aren’t the only thing you’re carrying today. I burned you a copy of the message Chris – Runner Ten, I mean – had you pick up for his daughter before he… well, you remember what happened to him, I guess. He was a funny guy, wasn’t he? Hated to talk about himself, but you remember how his daughter Veronica was on a scout camping trip when the outbreak began? It’s probably a long shot, but maybe your Killer Girl Guides will have some idea how to reach her. Assuming she’s… well, no harm trying, right? EUGENE WOODS: I think you’re overreacting. JACK HOLDEN: No one likes to step on Lego! No one! SAM YAO: Well, looks like they’re still doing alright. Go ahead and run on again, please? EUGENE WOODS: Sam, I think we found something. JACK HOLDEN: What? Where? EUGENE WOODS: Over there, between those two trees. It looks like a campfire pit. SAM YAO: Hmm, I can’t see. Can someone bring the headcam in closer? Ah, yeah, you’re right. And it’s been put out well, too. You must be on the right track. Most of the survivors we’ve come across don’t seem to spend that much time on fire safety. I guess accidentally roasting a few zoms isn’t going to keep anyone up at nights these days. JACK HOLDEN: You know, I hear roast zombie isn’t all that bad. As long as you get the sauce right. EUGENE WOODS: You got to be careful on the wine pairings, though. Rotted flesh just doesn’t go with any old vintage. Especially if there are maggots. SAM YAO: Yeah, that’s really funny, guys, and can we all stop talking about that? Right now. That firepit – can anyone tell if the ashes are still warm? JACK HOLDEN: Sam, do you actually think I’m going to stick my hand in there? EUGENE WOODS: Wait, are you worrying about getting dirty? JACK HOLDEN: Hey, I’m not – no, no, shut up! I’m still angry with you, remember? Fine. Fine, I’ll check. Yeah, they’re still warm. SAM YAO: Good. You must be getting close, then. I’ll see if the scanners are picking up any activitiy in the surrounding area. We should be able to pin – ugh, no. No, you can’t – you told us that - ! sighs So, it seems like there’s been a miscommunication. New Canton’s decoy run was a bit less thorough than I was expecting. I think they were just training up a couple of novice runners, and they got spooked, and now – yeah, they’re bringing their guys back in an armored car. JACK HOLDEN: And the zombies that were following them? SAM YAO: Yeah. Switched directions. JACK HOLDEN: Coming our way? SAM YAO: Yeah. JACK HOLDEN: Big pack of zoms. SAM YAO: Yeah. JACK HOLDEN: And let me guess – the nearest shelter is some village miles from here that we’ll never reach in time. SAM YAO: If you can run about three times faster, you should make it. Probably. Just about… do you think you can? Run three times faster? EUGENE WOODS: So, plan of attack? JACK HOLDEN: You know, this is exactly the kind of situation where one of those little motorized scooters would have come in handy. I told you we should have got one. EUGENE WOODS: You only suggested that because you were sick of carrying our stuff. Besides, the Major would never give us the gas. JACK HOLDEN: No, they’re electric, see? We could have hooked it up to some solar panels. EUGENE WOODS: What? Carry solar panels with us? SAM YAO: Hey, uh, look, I don’t want to worry anyone or anything, but that swarm is headed your way at a pretty fast clip. Why am I the only person worried about that? JACK HOLDEN: We could always climb trees? EUGENE WOODS: We haven’t tried covering ourselves in mud yet. JACK HOLDEN: I told you, we’re not taking that seriously. SAM YAO: Would someone come up with a plan? They’re going to be on you in, what - ten, maybe five minutes if you don’t pick up the pace! Aw man, ah! There’s got to be something – off by static CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Runner Five, do you copy? This is Charlie Todhunter. I repeat, Runner Five? Do you copy? EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, we can hear you. Us and Runner Five. You’re coming in. JORDAN SMITH: Got yourselves in trouble again? That was fast. CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Jordan! Runner Five, there’s a swarm of hostiles moving on your position. We might be able to help, but we need you closer. Stay on course, and come as fast as your able. We’ll do our best on our end, but you’ve got to move. SAM YAO: Bad news is, the zoms are still on your trail, and they’ve found a few friends. JACK HOLDEN: Well, so much for hiding in the trees. Trees are still quite a distance away, and at this rate, we’re never going to get the chance to see if that plan works. EUGENE WOODS: It’s just as well. Whatever the Girl Guides come up with will make a great introduction to the radio segment. JACK HOLDEN: You and I are going to talk about your priorities later, I think. SAM YAO: Well, I hope you’re right, trusting those girls, because we – oh, of course. Here we go again – off by static POSEY CLARK: Hi, Five. It’s Posey here. Charlie says we’re ready to help you, but you and the zombies still aren’t close enough to where we are, and the swarm’s a little too far to the north-northeast for what we’re planning. We need you to run back and try to steer them more to the north-northwest. EUGENE WOODS: I guess that’s a job for you, Runner Five. Speed advantage, and all that. Now, you’re going to need a noisemaker of some kind. JACK HOLDEN: Let me have a look in the backpack for a sec. There should be a ? player of – yeah, there we go! I thought I packed that cassette tape. Best Radio Sound Effects, Third Edition – Farm Animals! laughs If you play that loud enough, it should work almost as well as the regular beeps do, right? EUGENE WOODS: Do I want to know why you brought that? JACK HOLDEN: Probably not. Here, I’ll get this set up for you, Five. clicks into player, sheep sounds play Perfect! Catch back up with us when you’re through, and uh, stay safe! EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, stay safe. sounds POSEY CLARK: You should run into the zombie pack pretty soon, Runner Five. I hope they like your cow sounds. I think they’re pretty great, actually. It’s been a really long time since I’ve heard any of these animals. We get birds sometimes, and Yasmin said she saw an owl last week, but I miss cows. And pigs and chickens, too, but cows most of all. Except for horses. I think I miss them more? groans Oh, here they are! You’re going to want to lead the pack back the way you came, so as soon as you think you’ve got their attention, turn around. growls, horse sounds CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Runner Five? They’ve taken the bait. Move away, now. Jordan, is your team in position? JORDAN SMITH: Roger. Ready to go on your signal. CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Five, when I give the command, I want an extra burst of speed from you. We need you clear of the pack before our operation can go ahead, and we’ll have to time it just right. POSEY CLARK: Wow, Charlie, nearly – CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Just a few more paces, and – go now! You’re going to hear a loud bang in a moment, and I don’t want you to stop for any reason! Keep running flat out, as fast as you can, that’s an order. POSEY CLARK: It’s going to be really, really loud, so you can put your hands over your ears if you like. That’s what I’m going to do. Right, but don’t stop! CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Smith? The operation’s a go! JORDAN SMITH: You heard the lady, girls. Let her rip! splatters JORDAN SMITH: Charlie, do you copy? CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Roger that. What’s the situation, Smith? JORDAN SMITH: The blast took out about eighty percent of the pack, and I don’t think the ones it missed are going to be moving all that fast with no legs. CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Runner Five and company, are you still with us? JACK HOLDEN: That was brilliant! What was that thing? EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, I’ve never seen an explosion turn that shade of pink. CHARLIE TODHUNTER: It’s an, um… “explosive support weapon”. GIRL GUIDE: Oh my God! Are we really using those? CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Shh! Anyway, your way should be clear for the next while, Five. Feel free to resume your initial course. EUGENE WOODS: Actually, we were kind of hoping to talk to you. JORDAN SMITH: Us? EUGENE WOODS: We’re journalists. JACK HOLDEN: Actually, we wanted you to pass on a message for us. EUGENE WOODS: And we wanted to interview you for a segment on our radio show. JORDAN SMITH: Seriously? You came all the way out here for a chat? That’s, like, the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Are you all mental? JACK HOLDEN: Don’t look at me! He’s the one who thought it was a good idea. CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Hmm. Your radio show – how far does it broadcast? EUGENE WOODS: Pretty far. JACK HOLDEN: I think we might even have a few fans on Jersey, by now. We think they might be sheep, but we’re willing to take the ratings bump where we can. CHARLIE TODHUNTER: Alright. We’ll meet you at the closest village, at the first house on the right. The one with the blue front door. You’ve got half an hour, and then we’re moving out. Clear? EUGENE WOODS: Roger that. EUGENE WOODS: Can you please say your name into the microphone for me? Jack just needs to check the levels. CHARLIE TODHUNTER: This is Charlotte – Charlie Todhunter. POSEY CLARK: And I’m Posey Clark. Was that good? JORDAN SMITH: Runner Five? Come help me run the boundary while they do this. We need to chat. JACK HOLDEN: Everything sounds good. Gene, you’re not going to do that voice again, are you? EUGENE WOODS: It’s an homage. JACK HOLDEN: Sure, sure it is. fades JORDAN SMITH: Right, there we go. The way I see it, Five, you owe us. We’ve saved you twice, and you only get one for free. Now there’s something we need you to do for us. I’m going to give you a set of coordinates, and I want you to meet us there in a couple of days. You come out, and I’ll consider you squared up. If not, you won’t be seeing us again. POSEY CLARK: Jordan, where’d you go? The radio man says he wants to talk to you as well. JORDAN SMITH: Sorry, Po. Five and I were just taking a quick look around. Be back in a flash. Remember, the rendezvous is two days from now. And leave the camera crew at home next time, yeah?Category:Side Mission Category:Season Two